All that it's worth
by Lang Su
Summary: When you marry a man, you must be prepared to accept him, and all that follows. Easier said than done. Especially if you cousin disapproves, and you are factions apart. Theories!Zhong Hui x OC
1. An instant spark

We only met because of my cousin, Ling. What a twist this turned out to be.

The day we met, I had a feeling he would be the one I'd love for the rest of my life. My cousin had introduced him to me, an officer of Wei she was then. (My uncle is the very Jia Xu that serves Cao Cao.) Though we were on different sides of the war, we still remained in contact. We wrote letters, and though it felt like we were friends, there was always that invisible wall between us. He was friendly, but he wasn't overly trusting.

I could understand that.

So I guess it surprised me when his letters started taking a subtly different turn. I don't know what about his writing made it different; I'd have to go back and look. But we both knew that the levels had changed.

At least, I knew when he complimented me at the end of one of his letters. Something about how he really didn't mind me talking to him, because I had a brain that the others didn't. And then he ended the letter. _Your move._

He had made the first move, so to speak. But was he making passes at me this entire time?

I asked Ling how she saw it as.

She raised her eyebrows, and gave me a smirk. "Interesting. Let's see how this turns out, shall we?"

* * *

Both my cousin and sister said he took kindly to me. He went from arrogant and all-mighty to a person he never seemed to be any other time. Shy and sometimes sweet. Just the air about him, and the little things that made up his sentences. Like that made any sense.

Truthfully as I'm told, the only time he's ever shy was towards someone he admired, and that was a rarity. I take it I'm an exception. I'm not a strategist to be feared or respected. I haven't played any huge part in battles, and I'm told I was good looking...beautiful in one case. (...My other cousin, Fang went around and found some poor officer to ask. Yue Jin. He looked so uncomfortable.) They tell me that, but I'm nothing special. At least, when you compare me to Diao Chan.

Those weren't the only things either. Wu and Jin are two very different kingdoms, led by two very different people with different dreams and ambitions.

Like that stopped him from proposing marriage.

I wanted to believe that everyone could be equal in this world. He thought highly of himself. He was also a strategist, so he had 'good' reason to. I was only a general. I had a few visible scars, but he seemed to be flawless. He was mature, but in a way childish. But when he looked at me with those light blue eyes, tenderly sometimes, all that seemed to melt away. They said we seemed to be in the middle of our own world when we looked into each other's eyes.

Hm. How sentimental.

* * *

_Excerpt of the last letter from Zhong Hui_

_[...]I look forward to seeing you. This should give you enough time to think, by the time you get this letter to then. _

_[...]What would you say if I talked about marriage?_

_Your move._


	2. The little things

Hallo! This is the author speaking. Obviously. I'd like to thank those that did review and had a look at this first. Thanks for the reviews, I need to know whether I'm getting confused or confusing you, because that happens sometimes.

Anyhoo, theory Zhong Hui just means that he's added with a bunch of theories, obviously. More like headcanons though. Like there's a specific reason he wears a full set of metal armor in 7 and XL. You met one of the theories in the first chapter-the sweet one.

* * *

Surprisingly or not, I said yes. I was the daughter of a man and a woman related to Jia Xu, but even then, we didn't have much prestige. I'm not sure what we were, but I know we weren't nobles. We had a simple wedding, but when I mean simple, I mean...secret.

We spent the first months of the marriage getting to know each other better. I found out some things the first night we spent together. He was very slow to remove his armor and even then, he kept his gauntlet on. "Hey, aren't you going to take that off?" I pointed out.

He gave me a dejected look and _removed his forearm_. Not just the armor, the forearm came off, too. We stared at each other for some time, and he never took his eyes off mine as he tossed the gauntlet-and the forearm I guess-onto the table, onto the floor. He looked as pale as I felt.

"Well?" he said finally. "Aren't you going to ask? Or are you planning on jumping on me?" He rubbed his remaining arm.

I blinked. "Aren't you going to try and seduce me?"

He rolled his eyes, sighing. "Fair enough," and reached over, pulling me closer to him. But then I pushed my hand onto his chest. Don't ask me if I was trying to tease him, because he certainly seemed more than frustrated that I didn't let him kiss me. It was more something under my hand. His chest was rough in some spots, smooth in some others.

I traced the edge of one of them-large, jagged but connected lines jutting out, protecting the smoothed skin on the inside. That one was directly on his heart. "What's this?"

"A scar. Silly," he tilted his head, letting his shoulders go lax and gave me a look that said please tell me you're kidding.

"So how did you get it?" his arm shifted when I braced my other arm on his shoulder. I pushed a little bit, and looked down. You probably wouldn't think looking at his face and his personality, that he was on the front lines or anything.

"Oh. It was an old wound," he said dismissively, like it was nothing. His eyes flashed. He was getting impatient.

Most of the scars were hardly visible without looking closely, but there were some that were large and very, very noticeable. And worth concern. How long had he been fighting, anyways? "Um...how did you get all these?"

He tensed up, and after a few seconds, he pulled me onto the bed. "Are you going to ask me these sorts of questions ALL night? Or do you want to get something done?" [[/get busy/LUCKY-/shot]] Hui took my hand and started kissing my fingers. I started tracing the scar on his shoulder. At some point, I think he took my index in his mouth.

...However you want to visualize that, go right ahead. I won't describe what I felt that moment though. You can guess, right?

"That worries me, _Hui," _I jabbed my free finger (on the other hand, of course) onto his chest. "Where did you get them?"

He made an annoyed grunt and pulled my hand from his face. "..." his mouth opened, but I couldn't really hear all of what he said. "..._You do care..."_ roughly. I thought his mouth twitched, but then he frowned and fell back onto the bed, turning away from me. "I hope you're happy now," he said loudly. "My mood is ruined. Good night!"

I slept fully clothed. He slept with just his pants on, and neither of us bothered pulling the covers up.

At about sunrise, I woke up. He was still asleep with his back to me. And he had more scars on his back. I started to trace those with my finger. He started to mumble and move, but that was it. There were probably more than on his chest, and some wrapped around. These were more visible, and rougher.

His hand wrapped around mine, and started tightening. He shot me a look. "Are you really _that_ amused by my scars?" he looked half awake, and what you would call derpy, but enough to look upset.

I gave him my most innocent look. "Yes."

He made a loud kind of screeching noise and hit the pillow again.

* * *

We still had work to do. So the first week of what I guess was a honeymoon wasn't all so honey. Well, maybe a little.

When we passed by each other in the halls, we scarcely spoke, opting for a small twitch of the mouth (from him mostly)/warm smile, or a gentle brush of the arm.

It wasn't until lunch time that we had some more time to ourselves. The officers and generals were out in a meeting, and that gave us some extra hours.

I found him in the courtyard. "Hey," I walked up to him, holding out a scroll.

"Hey yourself," he replied back. His eyes went from me to the scroll. "You're still working? Now?" He pushed my hand down and then he gave me his infamously cocky grin. "I guess that can't be helped. That's the type of woman you are."

I thwacked him on the head with the scroll and went to sit down. He followed. Before he could say anything, I asked. "Are you hungry?"

"Nn...somewhat. I'm more tired though," he stretched his arms above his head, stifling a yawn. "That was VERY unsatisfying you know. Are we still concerned about _those?"_

He had rolled his eyes every time he caught me staring at his chest. "..." I got up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get us something to eat, w-" "Wait," he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back onto his lap, but he pushed my legs off.

"I thought you were hungry," I looked up at him.

"I had something else in mind. Lunch wasn't one of them," he pulled me up and pushed me along towards the indoors. He had been smirking, both in face and tone.

"Not now?" I raised my eyebrows.

"We have time," he said breezily.

I'll give you three guesses.

* * *

Lady Shangxiang didn't quite approve of him. She made sure to tell me that.

"You sure know how to pick your men," she laughed, punching me lightly in the shoulder.

I laughed, rubbing my arm. "You don't see him when we're all alone."

"Oh? Tell me, what's he like then?" she gave me a grin, crossing her arms.

"He's sweet...and sulk-y...kind of like a puppy."

She burst out laughing, attempting to and then giving up any attempt to apologize. I didn't find it that funny, but I frankly couldn't blame her. Have one look at him and you wouldn't believe me either. "Are-are you feeling okay, Su?" she clutched her stomach. But then she stopped laughing at all and ran behind a couple of boxes.

"_Su!"_

I turned around and smiled at him. Either way, I'd still smile, even if it wasn't him.

"Didn't you hear me the first time?" he asked, sounding impatient. For a brief second, his face softened and he smiled back at me. "_Nice to see you again_." before his face turned back into that arrogant mask.

"Sorry, Lord Zhong-" He cut me off with a wave. "Don't call me that, I'm your husband." "Right, Hui-what?"

"_Shiji,"_ he started looking around everywhere but at me. "Just call me Shiji, _Suika_."

Suika? How cute.

"Anyways, I have no time to dilly-dally. I have to get back. Duty calls." he sighed.

"I see."

"At least they need me," the corner of his mouth tugged up. He came close to me, almost like a hug and whispered in my ear. "Is this enough to convince your friend over there?" he pecked me on the forehead. We shared a small laugh before he walked away.

"Heyyy-" Shangxiang was behind me this time. She didn't say anything else, just giving me a really, big and kind of disturbing smile.

* * *

We resumed sending each other letters. We decided unanimously not to talk about politics and plans within our two factions. We still had loyalties to preserve. And besides, a marriage is not meant to be built around how much you can tell your spouse about the surprise attack they were planning for the next battle. Right?

We just talked about how things were going, stupid things that happened. Oh, and he liked to tell me about how Zhao was getting chased all the time, sometimes there were chickens involved. Sometimes everyone was chasing him.

He wrote in a way that you'd have to read in between the lines. It wasn't overly romantic, but the subtext was, so that way officers around him, if they got a hold of his letters wouldn't suspect anything of him. Wouldn't tease him, wouldn't find out about his complexity.

He addressed the letters to me under different 'names'. Sometimes Suika, sometimes Su, sometimes Qing. Qing means dear. I in turn called him Shiji, Hui or Ai-meaning Love.

And, Shangxiang found that really cute, but I don't think he'd appreciate that she was reading his love.

* * *

This took me longer than I wanted to write this _ Like 4 days. And on the last day of my vacation, too! Anyways, it'll start to get more serious and worthy of the drama tag later on. Just really subtly, or just all at once. I'm not sure, but it does get pretty bad at some point.

Things will happen, I promise! Until then, please, hold on!


	3. A bit of thunder on a cloudy day

damn it, I had this written out at least 4 paragraphs, it went funny while I wasn't looking and there's nothing.

Part of this is going to be pasted from a document from 2011 I had for this story. Yes, this story was waiting that long for me to finally do something about it.

* * *

Our letters didn't quite reach the other fast enough. So I spent time in Wei, visiting and taking care of my cousins. Mu, Fang and Ling had been hurt in the battle against Shu.

Mu was now the patriarch of the Jia branch of our family. He was always the serious one, intellectual, but also a good warrior with good intentions. He took care of his men, but he rarely was unprofessional around them, and they figured it out...and learned to appreciate his way of looking out for them.

Fang was still happy as ever, and already in the role of second fiddle to Mu, a position Mu used to play to my uncle and their father-Jia Xu. He was quite wounded, sustaining about twenty injuries, but that didn't douse his optimism. I heard others saying that he had already adjusted to the role after being 'handed' it. The serious side not many people knew about had been given a bigger role and reason to show.

Ling had stayed behind in one of the bases to hold down the fort, so she didn't have too many wounds, if any. You wouldn't be able to tell sometimes-she already had so many, I think as many as Zhou Tai sometimes. She's still really pretty though. She's also one of the only ones that know I'm married to a Jin officer.

If Mu found out, he'd freak out. Really, really badly. He was protective of me now, and he was protective of me when we were kids. So it'd become a running joke that he'd marry me if no one else did. He simply laughed at it, most of the time. Right now, he's married to Cai Wenji.

The people were in disarray. They were still counting losses, and gains, and deciding on their next move. In the confusion, I was surprised I got a letter at all.

* * *

[[This is the pasted part. When I went back to the document, I realized how odd Hui was there, so this is a little different.]]

Kai looked up as I entered the room. She held up a folded paper as she stretched. "Letter for you from guess who~"

"..." I walked over and took it, checking to see that she didn't read it beforehand. It was sealed and safe from her prying eyes. I left the room and went out into the gardens to read it.

We had been exchanging letters for a while now, all thanks to Ling. I sat under a tree and unfolded the letter. The name _Suika_ greeted me. He liked to call me that, because no one else did and it immediately showed that I was his. It was kind of cute, and he was serious about that much.

In the letters he wrote, he didn't talk too much about politics or anything...we'd have enough already on our hands separately. Well, that's a lie, we DID talk about politics. And the state of things at the time.

_It's gotten sort of tiresome here-it's boring me. So I might be in town the next time **you close your eyes **and think of me._

I giggled a little at that. He didn't like to admit out loud that he missed me or anything. I leaned back against the tree and closed my eyes. Yes, it would've been nice to see him, actually.

Either Ling or Kai walked towards me. "..." And then she sat down beside me for a few seconds. I felt her hands wrap around to cover my eyes. I pulled at them and turned to look at her.

Only, her was her, it was a _him_.

"Miss me?" he asked, smirking at me.

I don't know what I 'said' but it came out more like a laugh and a squeal and something else mixed into it. I think I almost knocked him to the ground. "Are you kidding me? YESS!" it took him a moment to balance himself, but he loosely wrapped his arms around me. "Oh, and that was pretty genius by the way, timing."

"It just so happened that my visit date and the day the letter would arrive collided so I got creative." he tossed his head, giving a look that was almighty.

[paste end]

My smile faded. There was something else. "My cousin is going to kill you if he finds you here."

"Why? Doesn't she k-" "It's Mu. I...didn't tell him we got married." "Oh. That's going to be a problem. Why didn't you tell him?"

He let go of me first and sighed. "I guess I'll tell him then. I'm only here for a day. How bad can it be?"

I didn't want to be the one to tell him-I didn't want to scare him off. He wasn't. But what happened next scared me.

He squeezed my shoulder in reassurance, and gave me half a smile.

* * *

Mu turned around and smiled at me, starting to speak, but his face fell when his eyes laid on Shiji. "Su...who is this?"

"This," I sighed, gesturing. "Is my husband. Zhong Hui."

Shiji nodded as a greeting. "Hello."

Mu tried to smile, like this was some big joke. "But Su, you're not..." he closed his mouth. "Zhong Hui, you said?" his tone came out calmer, and his face was still, except for the faint smile. This wasn't a good sign. He'd heard about Shiji, and of what his outer persona had done.

Not what his inner persona had told me, or how he had acted.

And as far as I knew, he didn't have any love for Zhong Hui. Shiji? Maybe not so much either.

Fang walked in at the same time, and he had a big grin. "Oh, hey, you have a doppelgänger-!" he shut himself up when Mu glanced at him rather menacingly. He focused on his cup, swirling around the tea leaves. "If you need tea," he nodded. He went towards the kitchen, and I kind of wish he hadn't.

Shiji's fingers dug into my shoulder, falling down to my waist and pulling my closer to him. "Yes. I take it you've heard of me?" his tone became cool, and light, and disturbingly pleasant.

Mu narrowed his eyes. "Yes-I've heard." he said promptly. "Nothing good." he crossed his arms. He looked at me. "Su, may I speak to you? _**Privately**?" _his eyebrows cocked up for a second, and his eyes flared the same.

* * *

We were in the corner of the kitchen, and Fang had left a pot of tea boiling on the stove, so that covered our voices. We were still half-whispering, though. He raised his eyebrow at me, bemused. "Really."

"Rea_lly_," I nodded slowly. "We married more than a few months ago."

He twitched. "And you didn't tell me," his foot tapped slowly, and rhythmically, probably trying to keep his fury from spilling out all at once.

"You would've reacted the same." I pointed out. He wouldn't find reasons to like people, but he wouldn't outright display his dislike for them.

"..."We stared at each other.

"..." He could be intimidating if he wanted to be, but I could be stern, to make a point, too.

"..." he exhaled, uncrossing his arms. "I'll give you that one. But seriously. Why him? He's no good."

"You don't know him," I crossed my arms.

"Like Hell I don't know him," his voice raised a little. "I don't need to. I know enough," he said pointedly. "His ambitions will surely be the end of him. He's arrogant. I've heard of him, his mannerisms. His way of speaking. He is a narcissist. He thinks the world should look up to him. That he is the Chosen One. Well? Can he really do anything? What is it that he wishes to do? Does he want to make tomorrow better? Because I'm not seeing any change. Just a lot of talk."

I frowned. I could counter that. He just wouldn't listen-if he did, he'd still be very doubtful until he saw it himself. "He only seems that way. You don't know him behind doors," I looked down. "You're not the person he talks to about things other than the current state of things. You're not my father-I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

"Yes, but it is the right decision? You're spending the rest of your life by his side. And if he really is a good man," he narrowed his eyes. "How can he possibly provide support to you when he's busy fending off his own enemies? You know they can just as easily turn onto you."

I nodded. "I understand that, Mu. _Very_ well, in fact." Everybody dies. People died in their 20s or even younger, fighting out in the wars. Some died without fighting, some were only really beginning to gain consciousness about their lives-hold the reins of their destiny.

And then-gone. Just like that. I promised Shiji to put my life in his hands, and his mine. I promised to take him for better or worse, in ill health or good. And we swore to uphold that promise. Because it was the only thing we could truly hold onto in an era where everything changes so quickly. And bonds are broken and mended or made so quickly.

"..." His face fell when he studied mine. The fire in his eye died out. He wasn't going to win this one. "Fine. But please, be extremely careful. I don't want to explain any complications that come up. And I most certainly don't need this. I suppose this is your first step as a matriarch, huh?" he shook his head. "You do understand what things this might turn into, yes?"

"I do." You would be a fool not to. "I do."

* * *

Mu left him alone for the rest of his stay, and they scarcely exchanged words. Shiji gave him a smile once or twice, but Mu always passed by too fast to interact. It was probably better that way.

We were walking into one of the guest rooms they had allotted me-and by extension him-and he started to whisper. "He doesn't like me. I don't blame him."

I giggled. They were both alike-it was just understood that neither of them wanted to admit it. They were both intellectuals, and good enough to be strategists. And their hair was similar, although Mu left his like that because he wore helmets very often. Hui never really bothered, just doing enough to keep his hair from loping over his face, or looking too awkward. He did that once.

He woke up still half-asleep but rather wide-eyed being so. His hair pressed over the upper portion of his face, looking wet, so he couldn't see so well, and he was so confused from the looks of it. He stuffed a pillow in my face when he finally looked at me and saw that I had been staring at him.

I laughed at the memory, and he gave me a funny look. He pushed my face away, and almost into a pole, before pulling me back.

* * *

WOO. THINGS GOT KINDA SERIOUS. I was feeling it too while I wrote it actually. ;-;


End file.
